Dirty Jokes
Cheeky adult jokes for grown-ups only. Rude, naughty and not safe for work.
456 jokes · page 8 of 10
- James Bond walks into a barJames Bond walks into a bar. He looks around, and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, and then…
- She bent over naked and was taken from behind…Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet. 🐶🏥 The Black Labrador asked the Yellow Labrador, "So why are you here?" 🐕❓ The…
- She claimed she was a more a passionate lover than his WifeIsabella was a 22-year-old housekeeper from Brazil who was employed by an affluent New York couple. Her salary wasn't great, and one day…
- She kept a bowl of a water on her organ, in it… floated a condomMiss Ethel, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. 🌸…
- She loosened his pants, and began to massage his manhood…😂 Two women were playing golf ⛳️. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed straight for a group of men playing the next hole…
- She promises not to laugh when he pulls down his pantsA nurse asks a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown before getting examined by the doctor. “In front of you?” he asked shyly…
- She rubbed the fork all over her private parts then gave…A blind man walked into a restaurant. 😎👨🦯 “Menu, sir?” asked the owner. 📜🍽️ “I’m blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks. I’ll…
- She seductively tossed her panties down at him…Daniel and Danielle had been a devoted couple for a solid stretch of time, and thus, they decided to tie the knot. Their hearts were…
- She showed me how to put a condom onI was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she…
- She Tore Open Her Bathing Suit Leaving Her Womanhood ExposedA young lady was swimming at a pool in the gym and was having a great time burning calories and keeping fit. To her horror, she found that…
- She was feeding her husband cat food for 50 years…An elderly woman arrives at the supermarket checkout line with bread, milk, peanut butter, and 21 cans of cat food. 🥖🥛🥜🐱 The cashier…
- Smart parrot watches a man's wife cheatingA guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. What’s strange is that the parrot doesn’t seem to have any…
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- St Peter asks these three Nuns a question before they enter heavenThree nuns are travelling in a bus when it crashes. All of the nuns died instantly, and find themselves standing in front of the Pearly…
- The Story Of Naughty Old HaroldHarold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Centre to sit and…
- The bartender decides to play a trick on the cowboyOne night a lone cowboy rode into a small town. He immediately went to the only saloon in town and ordered a drink. While drinking he asked…
- The Bartender Makes A Man A BetA fellow walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter, filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be more…
- The blind man hits the New York man with a quip so good it left him reeling!In the bustling streets of New York, a couple stands by the bus stop, their nine kiddos in tow. Shortly, a blind gentleman joins the…
- The British, French and Aussie's do a studyThe British, French and Aussie's do a study. Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is…
- The butler was trembling as she told him to take off her blouseThere was a butler named James who worked for an old decrepit Billionaire that had a smoking hot 25 year old wife. James was infatuated…
- The cheating wife's lover jumps out the window naked…A couple of lovers were in the midst of action in bed when suddenly they heard a noise at the door. The woman panicked and said to her…
- The Chiefs wife gave birth to a white baby – but the Missionary struck a dealA missionary was spending time with a tribe in Africa when the chiefs wife gave birth to a white baby. The tribe was absolutely enraged at…
- The cop watches the old couple have amazing sex and is stunned…The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together, over fifty years ago? We went behind the…
- The cow stopped giving milk…The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. Then the townsfolk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So…
- The Doctor informed the man he'd have to amputate his penis…While in China, an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there. A week after arriving…
- The Doctor never expected his patient would do this!A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the…
- The farm hand wins a bet by whispering something naughtyA man in a small town goes to a bar with his horse 🐴. He tells everyone in the bar that nobody can make his horse laugh 😂. The bet is on…
- The farmer calls the vet about his prized bull not wanting to mateA farmer spends $7,000 on a young registered Black Angus bull to mate with his cows. He puts the bull out with the herd, but the animal…
- The Farmer's Wife Is Rather NaughtyA traveling salesman's car breaks down way out in farm country late in the evening. 🚗💥🌾🌙 Luckily, he's not too far from a quaint little…
- The golfer had to get an arm replacement – with a womans arm..A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see…
- The guy finds a genie's lamp and makes a hilarious request…This guy pulled up to the bar in a brand new Cadillac. 🚗✨ He gets out, walks inside, pulls out a roll of twenties, and starts buying…
- The gynecologist who became a mechanic!The gynecologist who became a mechanic! A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out…
- The hooker never expected the old man to do thisAn old man goes to a whorehouse and says to the madam, "Ma'am, I'm in the market for some kinky sex." The madam says, "Go upstairs and…
- The husband took her then and there on the table…An elderly wife from Texas had an appointment with her doctor to ask for advice on how to treat her husband’s lack of sex drive. The doctor…
- The King Made His Queen Wear Metal PantiesOne day the king had to go for a year-long expedition. The King knew his gorgeous Queen was going to be unfaithful with everyone through…
- The lady had two parrots with vulgar mouths…A lady goes to her priest one day and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know to say one thing."…
- The lady hikes up her dress, the man ditches his trousers, bends his wife over…A nostalgic senior couple decided to retrace their steps to where their love story began more than five decades ago. Over coffee, the old…
- The lady kept having orgasms…A lady on the bus next to me this morning was sneezing, about every 3 minutes. Each time she sneezed, her eyes rolled back, she gave a moan…
- The little girl asked her Daddy what Sex is…An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?” The father was surprised that she…
- The little girl looks at Mummy's "report card"A mother is driving a little girl to her friend’s house for a play date. “Mommy,” the little girl asks, “How old are you?” “Honey, you are…
- The Magic Lamp Surprise: Be Careful What You Wish For!A man walks into a bar with a paper bag in his hand. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks…
- The man buys a round of drinks as his wife just gave birth to typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 poundsA Texan buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25…
- The man goes into a bar…A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink. The man asks, "If I show you something crazy, would you…
- The man had a massive penis so goes to the doctor…A man with a 25-inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is having a problem with this cumbersome instrument and has had more…
- The man has to decide which sexy woman to marryA man has three girlfriends but doesn't know which one to marry. So, as a test, he gives each of them $5,000 to see how they spend it. The…
- The man is racked with guilt and confesses to his neighborA guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor: "Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess:" "I have been helping…
- The Navy decided to offer an early retirement bonus…The Navy, finding they had too many officers, decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered a bonus…
- The Navy Pilot was doing it wrongDuring a commercial airline flight a Navy Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during…
- The Nun woke up naked and realized she was late for prayer…The Nun woke up naked and realized she was late for prayer… 😂💯 Sister Mary Margaret woke up to the sight of the rising sun and realized…
- The Old Farmer unzipped his fly and exposed it…An elderly farmer went into town to catch a movie. 🎥 At the ticket booth, the attendant noticed something on his shoulder and asked, "Sir…
- The old man says he can tell her age by doing thisA woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends £15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news…