Dirty Jokes
Cheeky adult jokes for grown-ups only. Rude, naughty and not safe for work.
102 jokes · page 2 of 3
- His fiancee’s 19 year old sister tries to have sex with himJacob and Jessica had been dating for over a year, and so they decided to get married. They loved each other dearly, and everything was on t…
- His girlfriend was shocked that he sent her these!A young man wanted to buy a pair of expensive gloves for his sweetheart’s birthday.
- His wife teased him – but he had the final wordMy wife and I went to the auction in Paris Kentucky the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.
- A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the houseA woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house.
- I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine.
- I was travelling around the orient and found this old oil lampThis guy pulled up to the bar in a brand new Cadillac.
- The two prostitutes were actually very smartTwo prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said:
- Luigi And His Expensive Armani ShoesLuigi walks to work 20 blocks everyday and passes a shoe store twice everyday.
- Man makes a bet with a hot young barmaidLife is way more rewarding when you live in the moment and seize any opportunity that you see…
- Man names his dog ‘Sex’Folks generally aren’t very creative in choosing names for their dogs.
- Man sees a fruit stand on the side of the roadA guy was driving down a long stretch of country highway, when he approached a fruit stand.
- Maria had 3 complaints, so Luigi said this!Luigi and Maria go to a marriage counselor.
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- In the rough waves, she realized that the lower half of her bikini was missingApril was explaining to her husband how much fun they’d had at the beach during her "girls day" outing.
- The Mum Finds An Adult Magazine Under Her Son's MattressA mother was cleaning her ten year old son's bedroom one day…
- Naughty – The salesman got more than he expectedA salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent.
- A young woman and an old man get marriedA 90 year-old man marries a beautiful 25 year-old woman.
- Patient asks student nurse to examine his testiclesMisunderstandings can lead to both awkward and hilarious situations…
- Pregnant woman gets shot but survivesA woman is pregnant with triplets. But she never expected this to happen!
- Priest gets turned on by a nunA priest is driving his car down a sunny country road when he sees a nun waiting at a bus stop.
- James Bond walks into a barJames Bond walks into a bar.
- She promises not to laugh when he pulls down his pantsA nurse asks a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown before getting examined by the doctor.
- She showed me how to put a condom onI was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy.
- Smart parrot watches a man's wife cheatingA guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
- St Peter asks these three Nuns a question before they enter heavenThree nuns are travelling in a bus when it crashes.
- The Story Of Naughty Old HaroldHarold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.
- The bartender decides to play a trick on the cowboyOne night a lone cowboy rode into a small town. He immediately went to the only saloon in town and ordered a drink.
- The Bartender Makes A Man A BetA fellow walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter, filled to the brim with $10 bills.
- The British, French and Aussie's do a studyThe British, French and Aussie's do a study.
- The Deaf Accountant And The Missing MoneySo there’s a deaf accountant who works for the mafia.
- The Doctor never expected his patient would do this!A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches.
- The farmer calls the vet about his prized bull not wanting to mateA farmer spends $7,000 on a young registered Black Angus bull to mate with his cows.
- The hooker never expected the old man to do thisAn old man goes to a whorehouse…
- The old man says he can tell her age by doing thisA woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday.
- The police were called to a female gymThe police were called to a female gym.
- A Greek and an Irishman debate their cultures – The punchline is rather funnyA Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.
- Things Heat-Up For This Old Couple In BedIt's never over, 'til it's over LOL
- The old lady goes to buy condomsA 67 year old woman walks into a drugstore.
- This woman offers him a "threesome" that he simply couldn't refuseI met an older woman at a bar last night.
- Three College girls visit the doctor for an examinationThree College girls visit the doctor for an examination.
- Three Couples are wanting to get MarriedThree couples are trying to get married at the same church.
- Three Men Were Standing In Line To Get Into HeavenThree men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.
- Three men were talking about their wives screams of passionAn Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about their wives screams of passion.
- Two builders go into the pub after a hard day's workTwo builders go into the pub after a hard day's work.
- What this crude parrot says cracks me up!A girl was complaining to her friend about her pet parrot calling her a whore.
- What this nun confesses blows the priests mindThe first nun says: "Forgive me father, for I have sinned…
- Wife and husband talk about life if she diedA wife asks her husband, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
- Wife refuses to give her maid a pay raise – but then she reveals a secretMaria was a 19 year old Mexican maid who worked for a wealthy Californian couple.
- Woman gets an orgasm every time she sneezesA man and a woman are sitting beside each other…
- Woman opens the door to a stranger – but what he says next is so shocking that she faintsThe Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
- Yossel tearfully confessed to the wife his tormenting desireYossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory.