Kids Jokes
Jokes about kids, parents and the brutally honest things children say.
57 jokes · page 1 of 2
- A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lieA father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
- A husband and wife needed to use “a code” to indicate they wanted to have sex..A husband and wife decided they needed to use “a code” to indicate they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. 🕵️♂️🕵…
- A Mother's Breastmilk OfferAs the man boarded the crowded bus, he found himself seated next to a stunning young mother cradling her fussy infant.
- A father-to-be was waiting outside the delivery room – but got the surprise of his lifeA woman was lying in hospital, giving birth. After twenty-five minutes of pushing, panting and sweating, the baby’s head finally popped out.
- Dad enters his son’s room and notices that something is wrong – then finds a note that cracks me upHe wrote a note and left it in his room:
- 'Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up.'An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blistery day.
- Doug makes his final will & testamentThe scene was the nursing home, as old Doug was nearing his last few breaths.
- Family Feud: Evolution vs. Creation!A curious kiddo bounced up to their dad one day, bursting with a big question: "Dad, where do humans come from?"
- Father Was Horrified When His Daughter Said This During Her PrayerA father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed.
- A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroomA guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
- A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beachA mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beach.
- His Wife was upstairs with Uncle Paul?? THE JOKE ?? A man was away on a business trip, and decided to call his wife to let her know he had arrived safely.
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- A man has been out fishing by the lake all dayA man has been out fishing by an icy lake all day and hasn’t caught anything.
- A man in the grocery store notices a woman with a 3 year-old having constant tantrumsA man in the grocery store notices a woman with a three-year-old girl in her cart.
- A mum traveled the country to watch her son get married and graduate from the air forceA mother traveled across the country to watch her only son get married and graduate from the air force on the exact same day.
- A New Yorker and a blind man miss the busA New Yorker and his wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
- A woman was walking with her little daughter when they came upon two dogs humpingA woman was walking along the street with her little daughter when they came upon two dogs humping.
- She whispered to the older man, “I’m sorry daddy, I’ve been a very naughty girl”In an old part of town there's an establishment often visited by a certain kind of people.
- The boys dad won’t let him use the family car – until conditions are met? Read The Joke Of The Day ? A young man comes home and says,
- The coach asks his young player if he knows what sportsmanship is? Read The Funny Joke ? The coach grimaced as he watched his young ice hockey team.
- The Dad explains why condoms come in packs of 3, 6 and 12A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
- The day before Thanksgiving, a father calls up his son and says he is divorcing his momThe day before Thanksgiving, a 60 year old man in Miami calls up his son in New York and says,
- The little boy admits to the class his Daddy is a male stripper in a gay barA new schoolteacher was getting to know the children by asking them their name and what their father did for a living.
- The little boy was told to use adult words for things and his father was shockedA man is driving his five-year-old son to school for his first day.
- The Little Girl Asked Her Parents How the Human Race BeganA little girl asked her mother a question,
- The little girl discovers secrets that her Mummy didn’t want her to knowA mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.
- The son and daughter are furious to learn their Parents are getting divorced.An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
- The young brothers decide it’s time to use swear words around MomThere was a 6 year old and a 4 year old brother.
- These Parents heard a humming sound coming from their daughter’s bedroomA mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter’s bedroom.
- Three little boys were at school, bragging about how fast their fathers wereThree little boys were at school, bragging about how fast their fathers were.
- Two little kids are in a hospitalTwo little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.
- The pastor is invited for dinner, and is shocked by the little girl's telling of graceA church pastor is invited to dinner at the house of a parishioner.
- The couple decided to hire a proxy father to have a babyAfter Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family.
- Here's a few Dad jokes to make you laugh – or cryHere's a few Dad jokes to make you laugh, or cry…
- Mummy is embarrassed by her sons choice of wordsA little boy is lying in bed, busting to go to the toilet.
- He said that I have a beautiful chassisOne evening, a beautiful 17 year old daughter came home, feeling slightly worried.
- He thought his wife was cheating on himA businessman had just landed in a different city for a conference and decided to check in with his family. He dials his home number and is …
- He was watching his dad's 'adult movies' when this happened…A woman pregnant with triplets had a hunting accident with a pumpgun. 💥
- Hilarious Story: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet and here's what happenedJust after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room…
- Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return her Father cursed her heavily.
- Jack's Wild Night: The Hangover with a Twist!Jack wakes up with a massive hangover. 🤕 He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glas…
- Going through his son’s college town late one night, a dad decides to visit his kidPassing through his son’s college town late one night, a father decides to drop in and pay his kid a visit.
- The man had a drinking problem – it all started when his dad married his step-daughterOnce upon a time, there was a person from Alabama who decided to seek help from a psychiatrist due to their drinking habits. They settled do…
- Labor of Laughs! Hilarious Baby Delivery Room ComedyA woman was in the delivery room, working hard to bring her baby into the world.
- For his birthday, the little boy asked for a 10 speed mountain bikeFor his birthday, the little boy asked for a 10 speed mountain bike…
- Little boy wants to know about politicsLittle Noah is sitting at the kitchen table, doing his homework.
- The purity of innocence… or not?A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
- The Chiefs wife gave birth to a white baby – but the Missionary struck a dealA missionary was spending time with a tribe in Africa when the chiefs wife gave birth to a white baby.
- The dad took his 3 year old shoppingThe dad stayed cool as a cucumber, whispering, "Don't fret, Johnny, we're nearly done, and we'll be home in a jiffy."
- The dumbest kid in the worldA young boy walks into a barber shop ✂️👦, and the barber quietly tells his customer, “This kid is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch this.…