Religious Jokes
Jokes about priests, nuns, rabbis, church, heaven and the pearly gates.
114 jokes · page 1 of 3
- 97 year old midwife gets one last wish before going to heavenIf you had one last wish – what would it be? Elsa was granted hers, and got a real surprise!
- A guy and his fiancée are on their way to get married…A guy and his fiancée are on their way to get married when they get into a horrible car crash and both of them die. 🚗💥
- A man goes into a confessional boxA guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.
- A man is hit by a bus and screams for a priest…A man is struck by a bus on a busy street. As he lies dying, he calls out, “A priest! Somebody get me a priest! 🙏🚑”
- A man made love to the beautiful young woman seven times…There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. ⛪️
- A man, wracked with guilt, decides to confessA man, wracked with guilt, decides to confess via text message to his next-door neighbor:
- A priest, a minister and a rabbi try to convert a bearA priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job.
- A priest and a nun are caught in a blizzardA priest and a nun are caught in a blizzard.
- A young couple were on their way to their church to get married…One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their church to get married.
- A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parentsA young woman brings home her fiancé to meet her parents.
- An altar boy goes to confessional"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have had relations with a girl."
- An Irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman are stopped at the gates of Heaven by St. PatrickOne day St. Peter had the day off and St. Patrick was left in charge of the pearly gates of Heaven.
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- The Catholic priest demands all virgin standThe Catholic priest in a small town had become very perturbed, and he decided to lay it on the line to the congregation.
- M sends James Bond on a secret mission to heavenM sends James Bond on a secret mission to heaven.
- Mr Harley Davidson criticizes God's invention of WomenThe inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
- Saint Peter asks the Nuns if they have ever sinned – he is shocked by their replies!Saint Peter welcomes them and asks the first nun if she has ever sinned.
- The men confessed they had intimacy with the stunning new woman – the priest was shockedAn Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church.
- Divine Dilemma Rabbi Seeks Heavenly Advice!The son returns a year later and tells his father that he is now a Christian.
- Donald Trump's "lie detector clock" in HeavenA man dies and goes to Heaven. When he arrives, he is greeted by one of the angels who says, "Come with me, and I will show you where you wi…
- The Drunk Gets BaptizedThe Drunk looking for Jesus – Funny Joke Of The Day
- Four Letter Word For A WomanA gentleman sits next to a priest on an airplane.
- The Pope decides to take a cross-country tour of AmericaThe Pope decides to take a cross-country tour across America, beginning in California and ending in New York.
- An old man goes to confession about his night of sinAn old man goes to confession.
- One day in Ireland two leprechauns knock on the door of a conventOne day in Ireland two leprechauns knock on the door of a convent.
- A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter? Read The Joke Of The Day ? A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book…
- A life-long atheist dies and is surprised to find himself before the Pearly GatesA life-long atheist dies and is surprised to find himself before the Pearly Gates.
- A man is praying and gets trolled by GodA man is praying in church.
- A man who is riddled with guilt confesses in text messages to his next-door neighbor? Read The Joke Of The Day ? A man who is riddled with guilt confesses in text messages to his next-door neighbor:
- A mum wakes her son and tells him it’s time for church – but he doesn’t want to goA mom walks into her sons room to get him up for church.
- A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gatesA New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.
- A newly found chapter in the Bible has answered the question, "Where do Pets come from?"A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to the question, "Where do pets come from?"
- A Nun goes to the restroom at HootersA nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.
- A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident?? THE JOKE ?? A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one.
- A teenage boy confesses, “Forgive me Father, I have sinned. I've been with a loose girl”A teenage boy goes to church to confess his sins.
- A young couple ask St Peter if they can get married in Heaven? Read The Joke Of The Day ? On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident.
- Funny Joke About Dave going to Rome to visit the PopeDave was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome.
- An 18 year old single Catholic girl enters a church in tears?? THE JOKE ?? An 18-year old single Catholic girl enters a church in tears. “Please father, help me.”
- An Engineer Dies And Goes to Hell — God Is FuriousAn Engineer Dies And Goes to Hell.
- An old preacher was on his death bed asking to see his banker and lawyer one last time? Read The Joke Of The Day ? An old preacher was dying.
- During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approaches the pastor with an unusual offerDuring the wedding rehearsal, the groom approaches the pastor with an unusual offer.
- Eve was feeling lonely and wanted a mate to pair with – so God created man for herContrary to popular belief, it was apparently Eve who was created first.
- Forrest Gump was tested at the Gates of Heaven?? THE JOKE ?? When Forrest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
- God Gave Adam Instructions To Reproduce With Eve – it did not go to plan!Once upon a time, God visited Adam for a talk.
- God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going onOne day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on,…
- Jesus was relaxing in Heaven when he noticed a familiar looking old manJesus was relaxing in Heaven when he noticed a familiar looking old man.
- Little Johnnie Explains How He Got a Black Eye in Church – it's really quite funnyKevin is walking down the street and he sees Little Johnnie with a black eye.
- Muldoon took his beloved dog to the local Catholic priest for it's mass and burialMuldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.
- A man in the USA decided to write a book about churches around the countryA man in Denver, CO. decided to write a book about churches around the country.
- The Young Couple Go To Church, but this happens!The pastor, however, took a melodramatic pause, "We have a special initiation ritual for our prospective devotees. You two lovebirds need to…
- One day, God summoned Adam for an important task he must completeOne day, God summoned Adam for an important task he must complete.