Jokes of the Day

Doctor: “Take off your blouse and bra.”

So the girl complies and there is imprint of a T on her chest.

Doctor says: “What caused this?”

Girl: “Well my boyfriend goes to Texas University and likes to wear his letter jacket when we make love.”

Doctor: “Ok, you’re finished, send in the next girl.”

The next girl comes in and the doctor says the same, “Take off your blouse and bra”.

Sure enough there is an imprint of a U on her chest.

Doctor says “What caused this?”

Girl: “Well, my boyfriend goes to the University of Utah and likes to wear his letter jacket when we make love.”

Doctor: “Sounds about right, okay you’re done send in the next girl”

The Girl comes in and removes her blouse and bra. This time there is an imprint of a M on her chest.

Doctor says: “Let me guess, your boyfriend goes to the University of Michigan right?”

Girl: “No doctor, but I have a girlfriend that goes to the University of Wisconsin.”

The angel at the gate tells them, “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner, your way across the bridge to Heaven will be decided.”

The first guy says, “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated thrice.”

The angel gives him an old model pick-up.

The second guy says, “11 years and only once.”

The angel grants him a Mercedes.

The last man says, “20 years and not once, we loved each other with all our hearts.”

The angel is duly impressed, and bestows upon him a gold edition Lamborghini.

The man soon passes the other two men.

Hours later the two men catch up to him at a diner.

He’s sitting alone at a table sobbing and muttering to himself.

One of the men approaches him and says, “I know we are dead but it could be much worse. Don’t be upset!”

The guy looks up and says, “Don’t be upset?! 30 minutes ago I passed my wife,”…

“She was riding a skateboard!”

A 71-year-old man made the trip back to his old college to take one last look around campus again before he settled in to retired life.

As he got to the campus he saw a young man studying hard, and the sight brought back memories.

He sat on the bench beside the lad, but was surprised when the kid started spouting off at him.

“You old geezer. Your generation will never understand my generation,” the kid lectured. “You grew up in a different world. In fact, your world is almost primitive compared to mine,” the student said.

“Is that right?” the elder man said.

“The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, microwaves. I can carry hundreds of books on a tiny chip in my cell phone. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing, and,” he paused to take swig of beer.

The senior took advantage of the break in the student’s litany and said,

“You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young – so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little bastard, what are you doing for the next generation?”

The student fell completely silent and all the people around them cheered!

A couple of lovers were in the midst of action in bed when suddenly they heard a noise at the door.

The woman panicked and said to her lover, ‘My husband, my husband is here! Jump out of the window!’

Without thinking twice, the lover jumped naked out of the window and landed in some bushes.

He quickly got up and joined a marathon that was happening on the street.

He ran alongside the other runners, trying to blend in despite his total nudity.

In the middle of the race, another runner noticed and asked, ‘Hey, buddy, what’s your participant number?’

The lover, with a serious expression, replied, ‘Well, I don’t actually have a number today…’

The other runner, surprised, continued, ‘Why are you running barefoot then?’

The lover responded, ‘Well, I need to air out my feet; the doctor recommended staying cool because of my hypertension. If I don’t, I start feeling unwell.’

The runner was still amazed, ‘But why aren’t you wearing a shirt?’

The lover explained, ‘The breeze on my body is good for circulation. It helps with my hypertension. But don’t worry, we’ll reach the finish line together!’

The other runner finally said, ‘But what about the lack of pants or underwear?’

The lover, without losing his composure, replied, ‘Oh, that’s because I need to keep this area well-ventilated. If not, my hypertension could cause stomach problems and other inconveniences…’

The incredulous runner said, ‘I see, so the condom is in case it rains, right?’”

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that blondes are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.

So, the lawyer asks if the blonde would like to play a fun game.

The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun.

“I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00,” he says.

This catches the blonde’s attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, she agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?”

The blonde doesn’t say a word, but reaches into her pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it’s the blonde’s turn.

She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?”

The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.

He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.

The blonde pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.

He wakes the blonde up and asks, “Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”

The blonde reaches into her pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

A man was heading home from work.

Unfortunately the bus got cancelled, so he had to call a cab.

While sitting in the cab, he noticed that the driver missed a turn in an intersection.

The man carefully tapped the driver on his shoulder and said, “Sorry Sir, but…”

The driver screamed, “AAAAAAHHHH!” and lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, missed a biker, scraped a fire hydrant and stopped just 1 foot from a department store shop window.

For a full 3 seconds everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver slowly turned around and said, “Look, don’t ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”

The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a taxi driver…

… For the last 25 years I’ve been driving a hearse!”

Folks generally aren’t very creative in choosing names for their dogs.

That’s why there are so many named Rover and Spot. But, have you heard the plight of the fellow who thought he’d be cute and name his dog Sex? It goes like this:

One day, I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex.

He said, “I’d like to have one, too.”

Then, I said, “You don’t understand. She’s a dog.”

He replied, “Look man, I don’t care how she looks.”

“No no, I’ve had Sex since I was 5!”

He replied, “You must have been an early bloomer.”

When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I’d have to wait until after the wedding.

When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life.

After my wife and I got married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex.

She replied, “Sir, every room in the hotel can be used for sex.”

I said, “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.”

The clerk said, “Me too!”

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said, “Me too.”

One day my dog Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight.

I told him, “I’m looking for Sex!”

My case comes up next Tuesday.

Now that I’ve been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I’m in counselling. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was.

I said, “Sex has left my life. It’s like losing a best friend and I’m so lonely.”

He said, “Look, you and I both know that sex isn’t man’s best friend. Why don’t you go get yourself a dog…”

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute – listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.”

“Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.”

“Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels – the phone is still ringing – when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.”

“The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife – she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!”

A man goes to the confessional.

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”

“What is your sin, my child?” The priest asks back.

“Well,” the man starts, “I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible.”

“When did you do use this awful language?” said the priest.

“I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards.”

“Is that when you swore?”

“No, Father.” said the man. “After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away.”

“Is THAT when you swore?” asked the Father again.

“Well, no.” said the man, “You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!”

“Is THAT when you swore?” asked the amazed Priest.

“No, not yet.” The man replied. “As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew towards the green.

And as it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball.”

“Did you swear THEN?” asked the now impatient Priest.

“No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole.”

“You missed the f*cking putt, didn’t you?” sighed the Priest.

There were two guys working for the city council.

One would dig a hole — he would dig, dig, dig.

The other would come behind him and fill the hole — fill, fill, fill.

These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.

A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn’t believe how hard these men were working, but couldn’t understand what they were doing.

Finally he had to ask them.

He said to the hole digger, “I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!”

The hole digger replied,

“Oh yeah, must look funny, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today.”

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous new Colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.

Conscious of his new position, the Colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,

“Yes, General, I’ll be seeing him this afternoon and I’ll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your commendation and good wishes, Sir.”

Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, “What do you want ?”

“Nothing important, Sir,” the airman replied…

“I’m just here to hook-up your telephone.”

The world’s richest man is dying. He has made peace with that.

But what is bothering him so much is that no one in the afterlife will even know that he has amassed such a colossal personal fortune.

On Earth, everyone knows he’s a self-made man who built this huge fortune from scratch, but he can’t take it with him.

Not that he could spend it, of course, but just to show everyone what a great success the poor boy had become.

He broods over this so much that his guardian angel is worried.

One night the angel flies to Heaven to consult Jesus.

Jesus says, “Well, you know earthly wealth has no place here.”

The angel replies, “I know Lord, but he’s been such a good man. He was a selfless man on so many counts, he did so much for charity, ran his business humanely and all.”

“He’s only human. He can’t help having this little quirk. Isn’t there something we can do to ease his mind?”

Jesus thinks a moment.

“Alright. Let’s look him up in the Book of Life.”

The Book is like a film of this man’s life and seeing his struggles and accomplishments, Jesus is moved to tears.

He tells the guardian angel, “Find a discreet way to tell him that I will allow him to bring one suitcase – only one, mind you! And he can fill it with whatever wealth he chooses.”

“At the moment of his death his suitcase and its contents will be brought to heaven with him.”

The angel goes down and delivers the message to the dying richest man.

The guy is happy, but what should he bring? He can’t settle down on only one thing.

Our money would mean nothing to people from another time, jewels could be faked, stocks and bonds could not be traded so they’d be just paper.

Finally it dawns on him: Gold! Gold has been valued throughout history and never went out of fashion.

He searches for the biggest suitcase he can find, fills it with gold bars, and sets it beside his deathbed.

Now he can die in peace, and he does so shortly after.

True to the promise, he arrives at the Pearly Gates, suitcase in hand.

Saint Peter greets him warmly and says, “Alright. Let’s see what was so important to you that eternal life and bliss wasn’t enough!”

The man proudly opens the suitcase, stuffed with row after row of little gold bars.

Saint Peter stares at it, puzzled, and sighs in utter disbelief,

“Why did you bring pavement?”

During a soirée at this classy cocktail joint, I spotted this absolutely ravishing woman, far advanced in her years. 🌟🍸

Let me tell you, this lady was an elegant 59, exuding a magnetic charm that could rival Marilyn Monroe. 💃✨

The evening unfolded with flirtatious banter and a round of rich, aged whiskey. 🥃😉

Things were sparking when out of the blue, she playfully throws this question at me, “Sonny, have you ever danced a tango with a mother-daughter team?” 💬😏

Thinking this lady’s daughter must be absolutely stunning also, I replied with a twinkle in my eye, “Well, that dance floor still awaits my footprints.” 😌🎶

In a blink, she downed her vintage whiskey, looked at me with a mischievous smile, whispering, “Buckle up, darling, tonight, we dance.” 💫👠

The anticipation was high as we approached her residence, my heart drumming a Jazz rhythm within. 🎷💓

As she elegantly unlocked the door, we tiptoed in. 🚪🔑

She suddenly belted out, “Hey, Ma! Up for a late-night show?” 🎭🕺

A woman awakes in the middle of the night to find her husband not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table, with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye.

“What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room…

“Why are you down here at this time of night!?”

The husband looks up from his drink and says, “It’s the 20th Anniversary of the day we met.”

She can’t believe he has remembered, and she starts to tear up.

The husband continues, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 21 and you were only 17,” he said solemnly.

Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.

“Yes I do,” she replies.

The husband pauses… the words were not coming easily.

“Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?”

“Yes I remember,” said the wife, as she lowered herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued, “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter or you’re going to prison?’”

“I remember that too,” she replied softly…

He sighed as he wiped another tear away from his cheek and said,

“I would have gotten out today.”

Three vampire brothers decide to hold a competition to see which one of them is the most powerful.

The first brother is the strongest.

“Watch this,” he says, and takes off at nearly 100 miles per hour. Two minutes later, he returns, his mouth covered in blood.

“What happened?!” His brothers exclaimed.

“You see that mansion over there?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I went over there and sucked each and every last family member dry. They are all dead.”

“Wow!” his brothers say, “As expected, for you are the strongest.”

The second brother to go is the oldest.

“Watch and learn, boys.” He says, and takes off even quicker, at 150 miles per hour.

Five minutes later, he returns, both his mouth and his neck covered in blood.

“What happened?!” His brothers exclaimed.

“You see that village over there?”

“Yeah?” They said.

“Well I went over there and killed every last person in the entire village. There is not one left alive.”

“Wow!” His brothers say in awe. “As expected, for you are the oldest and have the most experience.”

The third brother is the fastest. “Watch this, and don’t blink or you might miss it.”

He flies off, faster than the rest of them, going at least 200mph.

In only ten seconds, he returns. His entire mouth, nose, and neck covered in so much blood, it stains the front of his shirt.

“What happened?!” His brothers exclaimed.

“You see that giant tree over there?”

“Yeah?” They said.

“Well I didn’t.”

An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Dillon, Montana for a shave and a haircut.

He tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’d had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball.

The barber replied,

“Oh, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.”

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter’s bedroom.

When she opened the door she found her daughter on the bed with a vibrator.

“What are you doing?” she exclaimed.

The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.”

Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement.

When he went downstairs, he found his daughter on the sofa with her vibrator.

“What are you doing?” he exclaimed.

The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.”

A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.

“What are you doing?” she exclaimed.

He shrugged,

“Watching the game with my son-in-law.”

A woman is pregnant with triplets. But she never expected this to happen!

One day she goes into a bank just as it’s being held up. The robbery goes wrong and she gets shot 3 times in the stomach, but luckily she lives.

She gets rushed to the hospital, where she sees a doctor who tells her that her children will be all right, and that one day the bullets will simply come out.

15 years later, one of her triplets, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says “MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!”

So the mother tells her the story of what happened 15 years ago.

The next day, the second daughter comes out and says the same thing, “MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!”

Once again, the mother tells the story of what happened 15 years ago.

On the third day the son comes running down the stairs. “MOM, MOM!”

She smiles and asks, “Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?”

The boy replies, “No, I was jerking off in my room and watching Mrs McGregor sunbathing topless in the neighbours backyard, and when she smiled at me, I think I shot her!”

After getting to know each other a little bit, Bobby eventually asks Tommy, “Hey, what’re you in the hospital for anyway?”

“I’m getting my tonsils out,” explains Tommy. “And I’m a little worried.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Bobby says. “I had my tonsils out and it was actually not so bad. I got to eat all the ice cream and Jell-O I wanted for two weeks!”

“Oh yeah?” replies Tommy. “That’s not bad.

So, Bobby, how about you? What are you here for?”

“I’m getting a circumcision, whatever that is,”

Bobby answers.“Oh my god! A circumcision?” Tommy cries.

“I got one of those when I was a baby. I couldn’t walk for two years!”

Johnny’s pregnant sister, who was a devout Christian, was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma.

After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and realizes she’s no longer pregnant.

Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, “Madam, you had twins… a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. However, they weren’t in the best condition at birth and had to be christened immediately, so your brother Johnny came in and named them.”

The woman thinks to herself, ‘Oh no, not my redneck brother. He was probably drunk at the time.’

Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, “Well, what’s my daughter’s name?”

“Denise,” says the doctor.

The new mother is somewhat relieved, ‘Wow, that’s a beautiful name. I guess I was wrong about my brother,’ she thought. ‘I really like Denise.’

Then she asks, “What name did he give my son?”

The doctor replies,

“Denephew.” 🤣

…They had to bunk two to a room.

No one wanted to room with Steve because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first night, John slept in Steve’s room and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

The rest of the guys said, “Man, what happened to you?”

He said, “Steve snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.”

The next night it was Garry’s turn. In the morning, same thing–hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. Once again they asked, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!” He said, “Man, that Steve shakes the roof. I couldn’t sleep a wink. I just watched him all night.”

The third night was Herb’s turn. Herb was a big burly guy who loved to fish and hunt — a man’s man.

The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. “Good morning,” he said.

The guys couldn’t believe it! They said, “Man, what happened?”

He said, “Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Steve into bed and kissed him good night.

He sat up and watched me all night long.”

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.

“Doctor,” the man said, “I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can’t possibly be mine.”

“Nonsense,” the doctor said. “Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.”

“It isn’t possible,” the man insisted. “Our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.”

“Well,” said the doctor, “Let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?”

The man seemed a bit ashamed. “I’ve been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.”

“Well, there you have it!” The doctor said confidently,…

… “It’s rust.”

“What the hell is this? I ordered a rum and coke,” the guy protests.

“Just take a bite of the apple,” says the bartender. So, the guy bites the apple, and his eyes light up.

“Hey this apple tastes just like rum! What did you soak it in it?”

The bartender tells him, “Turn it around.”

So the guy does, takes another bite, and is suddenly quite pleased.

“It tastes like a coke! It’s a rum and coke apple? It’s a rum and coke apple! That’s pretty neat, pal.”

Another man approaches the bar, and asks the bartender for a gin and tonic.

The bartender hands him an apple.

Confused, the man begins to question the validity of the bartender, when the first guy reassures him, “Buddy, try the apple,” and with a nod of his own, takes another bite.

The second man follows suit, and looks back at the bartender in exclamation, “Tonic! What’s this, a tonic apple?”

The bartender swirls his finger in the air and tells the man, “Turn it around…”

The man has a bite from the other side of the apple and is exuberant. “It’s gin! It’s really gin! A gin and tonic apple!”

The two men revelled in this discovery for a while, when a dwarf walked up to the bar, made his way onto a stool beside the men, and beckoned for the bartender.

As he’s about to order, the second man interrupts him, “Oh, hey man wait! You should order an apple! You can get an apple that tastes like anything you want here! I’ve got a gin and tonic apple, and this guy’s got a rum and coke apple!”

The dwarf casts an incredulous look at the bartender, who plainly nods back in confirmation.

“Oh yeah?” He starts, “OK then, it’s been a while, gimme the sweet taste of a woman flavored apple!”

And the bartender hands him an apple.

The dwarf takes a big, expectant bite from the apple, and immediately spits it out all over the bar.

“Ughyuuk!!” He cries out, “This apple tastes like shit!”

The bartender swirls his finger in the air and tells him,…

“Turn it around…”

His eye is immediately drawn to one with a sign that says, “Talking dog – $5”.

Obviously a little skeptical, he approaches the dog and says, “Well, if you really can talk, you must have lived an amazing life. I’d love to hear about it.”

Sure enough, the dog responds, “Well, I’m a lot older than most dogs get. I was born in France during WWI to a dog owned by a very wealthy family. Doctors, if I remember right. Of course, I couldn’t talk back then. I didn’t learn that until WWII. You see, I had been adopted by an English couple, and when the husband went off to war, his wife would talk to me to pass the time. I picked up a few words, and when she discovered my talent, she and I decided it would be best to use it to help the war effort. They had me running secret messages to the allies, pretending to be a stray. After all, nobody suspects a dog. Or so I thought. It wasn’t long before I ended up in a German POW camp. Boy, I tell ya, they put us through Hell there, but I survived, and when the war ended, an American soldier who helped liberate the camp took me home with him. I’ve lived in America ever since. Been from family to family. Helped out where I could. Even helped inspire a speech for ol’ Dr. King during the civil rights movement. Eventually I ended up here, just waiting for the next family to take me in.”

The man is amazed! He immediately goes to the store owner and says, “That dog is fantastic! I’d pay any price at all for him! Why is he so cheap?”

The store owner replies,

“Cause he’s a damn liar! He never did any of that stuff!”