Animal Jokes
Funny animal jokes starring dogs, parrots, horses, frogs and the odd talking moose.
85 jokes · page 1 of 2
- 48 Fun Facts You Probably Didn't KnowDid You Know Any Of These 48 Facts?
- A dwarf with a speech impediment goes into a horse studA dwarf with a speech impediment goes into a stud farm.
- A goat gets his wish granted by a genieA goat gets his wish granted by a genie.
- A man goes into a pet store to buy a dogA man goes into a pet store to buy a dog.
- A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roofA man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.
- A parrot and gecko are in a tree drinking whiskey when the gecko goes for waterA parrot is perched on a limb, drinking whiskey, when a gecko strolls by. The gecko glances up and asks, "What's going on?" The parrot repli…
- A sheep is made king of the animals for a month.A sheep is made king of the animals for a month. 👑🐑
- A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk, connect, and…A woman meets a man in a bar. 🍸 They talk, connect, and end up leaving together. 🚶♂️🚶♀️ They get back to his place, and as he shows her…
- Achmed Is Having Camel Problem – So does this!Achmed is having trouble managing his camel.
- An Atheist is hiking the woods when he encounters a ferocious Grizzly BearAn atheist was taking a walk through the woods.
- Bear Necessities: Bob's Wild Alaskan AdventuresBob was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting.
- Before you get a puppy, take the Puppy TestBefore you get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.
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- The camel refused to budgeAn arab and his wife are at mid point on a long trek across the desert when suddenly their camel sits down and refuses to get up.
- City man makes a bet with a farmerOut on the prairie, a farmer is tending to his flock of grazing sheep, when suddenly a brand new BMW pulls up on a nearby road.
- A Cowboy And His Dog Are Captured By IndiansA cowboy, his horse and dog are captured by hostile Indians.
- A farmer was having troubles with his parrot getting into the chicken coopOn a farm in Nebraska, a farmer was having an issue with his parrot.
- The man’s parrot tells him about his wife’s dirty little secretA man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50.
- Dog Dilemma: A Vet's Unexpected Solution!A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat," 🐶❤️ agreed to look after her neighbor’s male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. …
- Fart Blame Game: Hilarious Dinner Date DisasterMary is invited to her boyfriend Johnny's home for dinner and to meet his parents
- A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks pastA monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past.
- A boy in the USA asks his parents how come big trains don't have little trainsA little boy in the USA is learning about the world and it's wonders.
- I bet you $50 I can make that horse laugh?? THE JOKE ?? A man walks up to an old cowboy near the corral and says,
- Funny Covid-19 Self Isolation Anecdotes* Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
- Who is mightiest of all jungle animalsA lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.
- A couple saw an advertisement for a rooster named Kenny for $100 and got curiousA couple saw an advertisement for a rooster named Kenny in the paper for $100 and got curious.
- A Penguin Was Driving Through Arizona?? THE JOKE ?? A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on.
- A billionaire bought an elephant, the best pet he ever had… until this happenedTwo billionaire friends meet up for a long overdue lunch.
- A butcher sees a $10 and a note in the dogs mouthAs a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "5 lamb chops, please."
- A computer nerd was crossing a road one day?? THE JOKE ?? A computer nerd was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said,…
- A couple moved into a rough neighborhood, and decided that they needed a guard dogA couple moved into a rough neighborhood, and decided that they needed a guard dog.
- A cowboy swaggers into a bar and can't help but notice a horse standing in the corner? Read The Joke Of The Day ? A cowboy swaggers into a bar and can't help but notice a horse standing in the corner.
- A dog chasing butterflies in the jungle gets lost and enters a clearing with a jaguarA dog is on safari in the jungle with his master.
- A dog enters a man’s house, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleepAn old, tired looking dog wanders into a guy’s yard.
- A fire fighter is working when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon? Read The Joke Of The Day ? A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little…
- A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkeyA guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
- A hillbilly approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken and asks for two ticketsAn old hillbilly approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder and asks for two tickets.
- A keen duck hunter was looking to buy a new bird dogA keen duck hunter was looking to buy a new bird dog.
- A man buys a pet chicken that can speak 5 languages for his lonely motherA man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he needs a pet for his mother. He says his mother lives alone and could really use some …
- A man goes off to Africa gorilla hunting with a hunter friendA man goes off to Africa gorilla hunting with a hunter friend.
- A man going 60mph was passed by a three legged chickenA man was driving along a country road when he looked out his window and saw a chicken was running alongside his car.
- A man hates his wife’s cat and decides to get rid of it once and for allA man hates his wife’s cat with a passion and decides to get rid of it once and for all.
- A man wakes to find a bear on his roof – so looks on Google for helpA man in Canada wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.
- A team of archaeologists in Jerusalem found a slab of rockA team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when they found a slab of rock with five figures carved on it.
- A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon?? THE JOKE ?? A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.
- A woman buys a parrot with colorful language – she was not impressed with what it saidA woman walks into a pet store and sees a handsome bright red parrot.
- Amber Heard comes home totally trashed and flops into bed beside Johnny DeppAmber Heard comes home from the bar, drunkest she's been in a long time, then collapses into bed next to Johnny Depp.
- God created the first dog and saidOn the first day, God created the first dog and said,…
- His Tinder date suggested he play with her little dog until she finished getting ready? Read The Funny Joke ? Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his Tinder date's door.
- The burglar breaks into a home…Once upon a time, a burglar boldly broke into a home, confident in his skills.
- The Farmer Gives The Mule A WarningA farmer and his wife were headed to market one day.