Dirty Jokes
Cheeky adult jokes for grown-ups only. Rude, naughty and not safe for work.
456 jokes · page 4 of 10
- A woman joins a golf club and astonishes the menA woman joins a golf club. When she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, “I played on my college’s golf team. I was…
- A young woman playing golf was stung by a beeA young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so…
- An elderly couple who were dating for a long time, discussed getting marriedAn elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it…
- An old man goes to confession about his night of sinAn old man goes to confession. He tells the priest that on Friday night, he'd been in the bar when he started talking to three girls…
- As Jack was marrying Jill, his father gave him some adviceAs Jack was marrying Jill, his father gave him some advice. "Son, when I got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home…
- Burt had an uncontrollable desire to put his manhood in the pickle slicerBurt worked in a dill pickle factory. For many years, he had a powerful, almost uncontrollable desire to put his member in the pickle…
- George bought new cowboy boots – his wife was not impressedAn elderly couple, Mildred and George, moved to Texas. George always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he…
- Her Mini-Skirt Was So Tight She Couldn't Lift Her LegOne day at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skin-tight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she…
- His Friend Suggested A Sex Certificate For His Wifes BirthdayAdam was talking to his friend at the bar, and said,… "I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday." "She has everything, and…
- His Wife is shocked by his confession of what he said at the pubBarney hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of my life, between the legs of my wife!" That won him the top prize at the…
- His Wife was upstairs with Uncle PaulA man was away on a business trip, and decided to call his wife to let her know he had arrived safely. A little girl picks up the phone…
- Little Johnny overheard his dad was pulling outLittle Johnny asks his father for a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny’s father says, "We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I…
Advertisement
- Little Johnny Was Being Extremely Rude In ClassA first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students who was being extremely rude in class. So one day she asked Little Johnny…
- Little Johnny’s teacher was starting a lesson on multi-syllable wordsLittle Johnny’s teacher was starting a lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few children for…
- One day in Ireland two leprechauns knock on the door of a conventOne day in Ireland two leprechauns knock on the door of a convent. The mother superior opens the door to see the two little green men. “How…
- She was wearing nothing but the shirt she slept inMy wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast. She was wearing only the t-shirt that…
- The Fireman comes home and tells his wife how the house will be runA fireman comes home from work one day and tells his wife, "We have a wonderful system at the fire station." "Bell 1 rings: We put on our…
- The man wanted the most expensive lady in the houseThe madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. “May I help you?”…
- The new bride confesses she is not a virginOn the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, “I have a confession to make.” “I’m not a virgin. I’ve been with…
- The old couple were still doing it – until this happenedUpon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away… Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 year-old…
- The retiring man got a surprise from the hot young wifeDean, the town postman, is retiring after 50 years on the job. So he jumps in his USPS van and collects the last parcels from the post…
- What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th childAnnie wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep, and on this one particular day while she was sleeping, the teacher…
- When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungleWhen Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him. During her questions about his life, she asked him if he had…
- She gets frisky with her Husband's "jewels" but never expected this to happen!"My, my," Sarah chuckles, "Whenever Tony and I get frisky, I’ve noticed his jewels are just as cold as ice cream!" "No kidding?!" Jenn…
- A blind man went into a posh restaurant for lunch, and used this neat trick to orderA blind man went into a local posh restaurant to order lunch. “Menu sir?” asked the owner, as he rolled his eyes. “I’m blind, just bring me…
- A blonde and a brunette go skinny dipping, when a bus full of men from church pull upA blonde and a brunette are spending a day off together at the local lake. Since they're alone, they decide to go skinny dipping and enjoy…
- A cowboy swaggers into a bar and can't help but notice a horse standing in the cornerA cowboy swaggers into a bar and can't help but notice a horse standing in the corner. He says to the bartender, "I'll take a scotch…
- A guy got chatting to a hot girl in a clubA guy got chatting to a hot girl in a club. "Can I buy you a drink?" he asked. "Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied. "Guys like you…
- A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotchA guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. When he finally gets…
- A Guy Visits A Witch About His 25 Inch ProblemA man with a 25 inch long penis goes to his doctor. He explains that he is having a problem with this cumbersome instrument and has had…
- A hillbilly approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken and asks for two ticketsAn old hillbilly approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder and asks for two tickets. The girl at the counter wants…
- A hyena was mocking all the other animals in the savanna, even the King LionOnce upon a time there was a loud mouthed hyena. He would walk around the savanna mocking all the other animals, even the King himself, the…
- A lady is in a bar and sees a cowboy with huge boots – she wonders if the myth is true..A lady goes into a bar and sees a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He has the biggest feet she’s ever seen. The woman coyly asks…
- A man and his wife go on a date to a new restaurantA man and his wife go on a date to a new restaurant. They are seated and after browsing the menu they both decide to order the soup of the…
- A man asks his girlfriend’s younger sister to accompany him to buy a Christmas presentA guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas. After all, they’ve only been dating for three weeks so it seems…
- A man gets injured whilst playing Golf with his Wife – mistakes were madeThe doctor asks him what happened. “Well it was like this,” said Jack. “I was having a quiet game of golf with my wife when she sliced her…
- A man goes to a Doc and says, "I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex."A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex." The Psychologist says, "Well let's see…
- A man met a beautiful girl and decided he wanted to marry her right awayA man met a beautiful girl and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, “But we don’t know anything about each other.”…
- A man on a deserted island meets a stunning blondeOne day a man, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. “It’s certainly not a…
- A man suffering for years with severe headaches, went to see a doctor about the problemA man suffering for many years with severe headaches, finally went to see a doctor about the problem. The doctor examined him, and…
- A Man Tells The Voluptuous Waitress He Wants A QuickieA man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt…
- A man walks in to a bar with a box under his arm and says to the barmanA man walks in to a bar with a box under his arm and says to the barman, “If I can show you something you have never seen before, will you…
- A man who is riddled with guilt confesses in text messages to his next-door neighborA man who is riddled with guilt confesses in text messages to his next-door neighbor: "James, I’m sorry. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I…
- A married man confessed to his priest about almost having an affair with another womanA married man went into the confessional and said to his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.” The priest said, “What do you…
- A Missionary spots a couple in the grass making love – so he says this to the ChiefA Missionary on a South Pacific Island was walking with the Village Chief teaching him English. As they passed a stream the missionary…
- A Montana rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranchA Montana rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door. "Your…
- A naked woman gets in a taxi and the driver can't stop staring at her from top to bottomA naked woman jumps into a taxi. The taxi driver stares at her, looking her over from top to bottom. The woman is offended and asks the…
- A New Yorker and a blind man miss the busA New Yorker and his wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus…
- A Nun goes to the restroom at HootersA nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every…
- A patrolman on nightshift spots two old ladies sitting in a used car – it's hilarious!It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies…