Clean Jokes
Family-friendly clean jokes you can share at work, at school or around the dinner table.
208 jokes · page 1 of 5
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- Old Preacher Man Goes To See The DoctorA retired reverend, 73 years old, goes in for his annual checkup. Every test comes back fine, and the doctor sits down with him to go over…
- These three sons compete over who got their mother the best presentThree brothers moved away from home and all became very successful. Years later, they met up to brag about the gifts they’d sent their…
- The guy can’t believe what the doctor suggests!A guy goes in for a checkup, and the doctor gives him terrible news. “You have a rare disease. You’ve got 6 months to live.” The patient…
- A man goes on safari with his mother-in-lawA hunter heads off on safari, bringing along his wife and her mother. One morning the wife wakes up and discovers her mother is missing…
- An Irishman And An Englishman Walk Into A BakeryAn Irishman and an Englishman go into a bakery together. The Englishman slips three buns into his pockets and walks out. Afterward he brags…
- A Chicken Walked Into A LibraryOne day a chicken strolled into a library, marched up to the front desk, and said, ‘book, book, book, book.’ The librarian gave it a book…
- 3 Irish men go to a bar and discuss their WivesPaddy was at the bar with his two best friends, and the talk turned to their wives. His first friend took a long pull of his beer. “I’m…
- An Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman were captured while fightingFour soldiers – an Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman and a Scotsman – are taken prisoner during a war in some distant country. The head…
- Tactless sergeant has to deliver the shocking newsA telegram reaches the Captain: Private Jones’ mother passed away yesterday. He calls in the Sergeant and tells him to give Jones the news…
- Mr. Smith had never before seen anything like this“Oh, no!” Tom Smith gasped, staring at the devastation in front of him. In all his 40 years, he had never seen anything like it. How could…
- The woman seductively signalled that he should bring his face closer to hersA gorgeous woman walked up to the bar in a sleepy country pub. She gave the bartender a sultry little wave, and he hurried right over. With…
- The Park Ranger Explains The Differences in BearsUp in Canada, a park ranger is briefing a group of hikers on bear safety. “Your brown bear is mostly harmless,” he explains. “It’ll go out…
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- A man goes to heaven and he sees a huge wall covered in clocksA man arrives in heaven, passes through the gates, and is shown to a waiting room. One wall of the room is completely covered in clocks…
- A policeman was testing three Dumb brothers who were training to become detectivesA police officer was evaluating three dimwitted brothers who were training to be detectives. To see how well they could identify a suspect…
- Carl had this one bad habit that had always disgusted SuzanneCarl and Suzanne had been married nearly 45 years, and they were a lovely couple, except for one habit of Carl’s that had always made…
- Woman gets breast implants and meets GodA 45-year-old woman in Los Angeles suffered a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. On the operating table, she had a near-death…
- Billy Bob wanted to sell his old truck – his friend suggested he do this!Billy Bob was trying to sell his old truck, but nobody wanted it. The odometer read 250,000 miles. One day he mentioned the problem to a…
- Our Hero, Sam, doesn’t get given a rifle – So he does thisSam enlists in the army and ships off to basic training. On the day they hand out rifles, he’s last in line, and they run out right before…
- The conductor comes up with an unusual planA businessman dashed into the station and made the Brisbane to Rockhampton Express with seconds to spare. Once he’d found his seat, he…
- The Strange New Doctor Has A Funny CureA woman went in to see her doctor and ended up with one of the new young doctors on staff. She hadn’t been in the exam room four minutes…
- The old man didn’t flinch when the Devil arrivedThe service was still a few minutes away, and the townspeople were chatting in their pews. Then, without warning, Satan materialized at the…
- A smuggler crosses the border each morning on a donkeyEvery morning, a smuggler rides a donkey across the border, and every morning the donkey carries nothing but bags of straw. At the bridge…
- A sailor is recruited onto a Pirate shipOn his first day aboard a pirate ship, a new sailor swears loyalty to the Captain and crew, gets his list of daily chores, and is taken up…
- Attila the Hun’s giant pet snake refuses to eat Christian nunsLegend has it that Attila the Hun kept a menagerie of exotic beasts, picked up along the way as he conquered his way across the known…
- Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bitA man is flying down the road late one night, way over the limit. A police officer clocks him and pulls him over. “Do you know how fast you…
- The atheist couldn’t believe it when the Priest and Rabbi did thisThree men are fishing from a rowboat in the middle of a lake: a priest, a rabbi and an atheist. All of a sudden the priest groans, “Oh…
- Lawyer asks old lady if she knows who he isIn a small-town courtroom in Nebraska, the prosecutor called his first witness to the stand: an elderly grandmother. He approached her and…
- Taxi driver describes the perfect manA man steps out onto the street and flags down a taxi that happens to be passing. As he climbs in, the cab driver says, “Wow, perfect…
- A man comes home from work and finds the place a wreckA man got home from work to find his three kids out front in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers…
- I was having trouble with my computerMy computer had been giving me grief, so I phoned the neighbor’s kid, Joseph. He’s 14, and his bedroom looks like Mission Control. He came…
- Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinkingAfter a long night of drinking, two buddies stumble out of the bar, pile into their car and start it up. A couple of minutes later, an old…
- The little girl asks her Mummy a very serious questionOut of nowhere, my little girl, who is all of 3, wanted to know: “Where does Poo come from?” Keeping it simple seemed smartest, so I…
- The pastor was troubled by the man’s requestTwo brothers in a small town spent years cheating, swindling, and robbing everyone they ever did business with. The whole town, and…
- The stud rooster at a poultry farm is getting old, so the farmer buys a new oneA poultry farmer’s old stud rooster is past his prime, so the farmer brings home a young replacement. The newcomer struts right up to the…
- This man wanted to get out of jury duty, so told the judge thisA man got called for jury duty, and he wanted out of it badly. He tried every excuse in the book. Nothing worked. On the morning of the…
- The trooper has a strange sobriety testOn I-75, roughly 2 miles north of Macon, a Georgia State trooper stopped a speeding car. Asked why he was in such a hurry, the driver…
- Translating Monk Texts – spelling matters!A new monk arrives at the order’s main monastery. His job is to help copy the holy texts, and he soon realizes that every monk there is…
- Boastful lawyer has a terrible accidentA cocky lawyer had just bought a gleaming new sports car and couldn’t wait to show it off around the office. He pulled over to the curb and…
- Three Native Americans are living in the wilderness togetherOut in the wilderness, three Native Americans live together in one camp. Of the three, the first is extremely smart, the second is average…
- An old man and a younger man lose their wives in the supermarketIn the grocery store, an old man and a young man collide in the aisle. After they both apologize, the young man explains, “Sorry about…
- The doctor was stunned to discover thisAt a party, a doctor and a lawyer are trying to have a conversation. They barely get a word in, because guests keep coming up to describe…
- Bob staggered into his house after a night of drinkingAfter a long night at the bar, Bob came stumbling home. He crept up the stairs so he wouldn’t wake his wife, Kathleen, but he tripped and…
- The not-so-bright fishermenTwo buddies have been fishing all day without a single bite. Then another angler strolls past, hauling a huge load of fish. “Excuse me,”…
- The old lady decided to join her husband in the afterlifeMildred, who was 93, had fallen into a deep depression after her husband, Earl, passed away. She decided she’d simply end it all and join…
- He couldn’t believe what his wife was hiding in a shoe boxA couple had been married for over 60 years. They’d shared everything and talked about everything, and they had no secrets from each other…
- This married mum accepted the strangers enticing offerOne evening after work, a married mother of four was sitting by herself at a bar, sipping a cocktail, when the door swung open and in…
- In a survey of 40,000 jokes over 70 countries, the enclosed joke was voted funniest joke in the world.Two hunters from New Jersey are tramping through the woods when one of them suddenly collapses. As far as his buddy can tell, he isn’t…
- Tom had a real love for cars – his wife did notAfter years of dating, Tom finally married his girlfriend. One night, not long after they got back from the honeymoon, he was out in the…
- The game warden harasses a woman for reading a bookA husband and wife were spending a vacation in the countryside. One morning, after several hours out fishing, the husband came back and lay…
- The bartender is impressed and gives the man free drinksA man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen, will you let me drink free tonight?”…
About our clean jokes
Looking for clean jokes for adults that are still genuinely funny? Every joke here is family-friendly, so you can read them out at work, share them in a group chat with your parents, or use them to break the ice in a meeting.
You’ll find clean one-liners, short funny stories, office-safe jokes and classic setups with a twist at the end. Rate the ones that made you laugh, and come back tomorrow for a fresh joke of the day.
More joke categories
- Dirty Jokes 430
- Funny Jokes 178
- Christmas Jokes 19
- Dad Jokes 50
- Little Johnny Jokes 38
- Thanksgiving Jokes 41
- Marriage Jokes 165
- Religious Jokes 136
- Animal Jokes 81
- Bar Jokes 57
- Kids Jokes 8
- Golf Jokes 40
- Doctor Jokes 50
- Old Age Jokes 63
- Blonde Jokes 34
- Police Jokes 28
- Work Jokes 32
- Dating Jokes 29
- School Jokes 9
- Lawyer Jokes 13
- Halloween Jokes 48