Marriage Jokes
Husband and wife jokes about marriage, weddings, honeymoons and the in-laws.
145 jokes · page 2 of 3
- An annoyed wife was upset that her husband was spending all his free time at the bar? Read The Funny Joke ? An annoyed wife was upset about her husband spending all his free time at the bar.
- Bob came home drunk one night and slid into bed beside his sleeping wifeBob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife and fell into a deep slumber.
- "Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating I was 21 and you were only 17?"A woman awakes in the middle of the night to find her husband not in bed.
- Four married men go fishing one morning – they had to make deals with their wivesFour married men go fishing on a Saturday morning.
- He offers $200 for her to drop the towelEarly one morning, a young newlywed couple's doorbell rings.
- His wife teased him about the frequency of Bulls matingMy wife and I went to the auction in Texas the other week.
- I received a phone call from my gorgeous ex-wife who wanted to rekindle the old magic? Read The Joke Of The Day ? I received a phone call from my gorgeous ex-wife this morning who called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was stil…
- I was driving my Bronco through Colorado, when I had to swerve to avoid hitting a deerI was driving my new Bronco through Colorado, when I had to swerve sharply to avoid hitting a deer.
- Jack had an annoying ritual that bothered his wife – so on Thanksgiving, shetook revengeJack and Heather had been married for almost 45 years.
- James and Mary got married – but both were keeping a sinister secret from each otherJames had smelly feet. They stank.
- Jenny goes to the mortuary to look at her husband – when she sees him she starts wailingJenny was very upset because her husband Bruce had just passed away.
- Maria just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin? Read The Joke Of The Day ? Maria just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin.
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- Maria was a 19 year old maid who wanted a pay riseMaria was a 19 year old maid who worked for a wealthy Californian couple.
- My wife and I were banned from Walmart?? THE JOKE ?? After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart.
- "My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.""My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. "
- My wife studied a bit of psychology in collegeMy wife studied a bit of psychology in college, so every dispute turns into an impromptu therapy session. For example:
- A woman answers the door and finds two grim-faced state troopers thereThe day after her husband disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage woman answered her door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troop…
- She didn’t have any pubic hair – The Scottish couple were amazed!A Scottish couple took in a young woman as a lodger.
- Surprise Birthday Gone Wrong Wife Discovers Husband's 'Bowling Buddies' at the Club!A wife decides to take her husband, Mike, to an adult club for his birthday.
- The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman? Read The Joke Of The Day ? The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman.
- The hilarious mismatch between a wife's diary entry and her husband'sWife’s Diary:
- The husband arrived home early and catches his wife in bed with another manA man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport.
- The man asked his wife why their son looked so different then the rest of their kidsThe man says to his wife, "Dear, there is something that I must ask you,"…
- The maternity class is full of pregnant women with their husbandsThe maternity class is full of pregnant women with their husbands – when the cheeky husband asked this question! — Read the full joke below …
- The therapist kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow? Read The Joke Of The Day ? A husband and wife went to counseling after 20 years of marriage.
- The Wife is shocked when she sees four feet hanging off the end of their bedOne night, a wife comes home late from a night out with the girls.
- The young bride was taken by her older husband many times on their wedding nightRobert, who is 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.
- Thinking his wife was cheating, a husband hired a detective to video her activitiesThinking his wife was cheating, a husband hired a private detective to trail her.
- Two guys lose their wives in the supermarketTwo guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide.
- A wife goes to the police station with her neighbor to report her husband is missingA wife goes to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband is missing.
- He wanted an indecent present – so she brought him back a surpriseA woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
- There once was a married couple who were in a terrible accidentThere once was a married couple who were in a terrible accident.
- She made a dirty proposition to the masked man who readily agreed to her advancesOnce upon a Halloween night, a couple received an invitation to a masked fancy dress party.
- He gets run over by a car and texts his wifeA man was hit by a car as he was crossing the road after leaving work for the day.
- Hilarious Shopping Center SurpriseA couple found themselves in a bustling shopping center in Dublin just days before Christmas. While the wife patiently waited in line, her h…
- A Woman Writes In To A Men's HelplineDear John, I hope you can help me here.
- The Man Was Distraught That His Wife Was MissingThe Case of the Missing Wife
- It's the World Cup Final and there is an Empty Seat – Hilarious Marriage JokeIt’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch.
- Jack And Margaret Have Marital ProblemsJack and his wife Margaret both felt uninspired in the bedroom, and hadn’t had sex for a month.
- A couple were driving through Canada on their way out west.A couple were driving through Canada on their way out west.
- Carl was in the kitchen wielding a fly swatter when his wife came homeA woman came home from work after a long day at the office.
- Maria is shocked by her husband on their wedding night – but the punchline is funnyMaria, being a jittery virgin, is being coaxed into stepping upstairs with her hubby by Mama, who is engrossed in whipping up her legendary …
- The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a…Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.
- The husband comes home and demands to know why another man is thereWhile he's at work she goes to IKEA and finds a beautiful wardrobe, buys it, and returns home.
- In the dead of night, precisely at 3:00 AM, a relentless pounding on the door…In the dead of night, precisely at 3:00 AM, a relentless pounding on the door roused a man and his wife from their slumber.
- Join a wild hunter, his wife and the mother in law on a safariOne morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother vanished.
- Its important to always wear clean underwear when you're going outAlways wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle.
- Man cheats on his wife with a stunning young womanSometimes you have to tell a white lie to get out of a tricky situation.
- Man who really loved baked-beansOnce upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked-beans.
- Man refuses to bury his mother-in-law in JerusalemA man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.