After a night out at the pub with his buddies, Ralph came home rather drunk.
He slid into bed, kissed his wife on the cheek and fell into a deep sleep.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, βYou died in your sleep, Ralph.β
Ralph was stunned.Β βIβm dead?Β No, I canβt be!Β Iβve got too much to live for.Β Send me back!β
St. Peter said, βHmm, perhaps that could be arranged.Β It does involves a lot of paperworkβ¦ but sure.Β Youβve got two alternatives: you can come back as a fish or as a hen.β
Ralph never liked swimming, and thought that perhaps being a hen wouldnβt be that bad after all.Β Walking around pecking at the ground, no stress, and if the local rooster was nice then perhaps it could be a comfortable existence.
RalphΒ replied, βOkay, then I choose to be a hen.β
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past.Β βSo, youβre the new hen, eh? Howβs your first day here?β
βNot bad,β replied Ralph the hen, βbut I have this strange feeling inside.Β Like Iβm gonna explode!β
βYouβre ovulating,β explained the rooster. βDonβt tell me youβve never laid an egg before?β
βNever,β said Ralph.
βWell, just cluck twice and then push.β
Ralph clucked twice and pushed, and voila, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood for the first time.Β He then clucked twice, pushed, and out came another egg.Β His joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, βDammit, Ralph! Wake up.Β Youβre shitting the bed!!!β
ππ€£πππ±πΊ