Uncle Rick deep-fries the Thanksgiving turkey

Every Thanksgiving, Uncle Rick announced he was going to deep-fry the turkey, and every Thanksgiving, Aunt Carol said, “Over my dead body.”

This year, Aunt Carol was visiting her sister in Ohio.

Rick set up the fryer in the driveway at 8 a.m. He filled it with oil “to about here.” He didn’t thaw the turkey, because “the oil does that.” When his nephew asked if he’d read the instructions, Rick said, “I read the part that says ‘serves twelve.’ That’s all I need.”

At 11:02 a.m. the turkey went in. At 11:03 a.m. the fire department got calls from three separate neighbors.

The firefighters were great about it. They put out the fryer, the hedge and most of the garage. The chief, a big man named Hal, walked over while the hoses were still running and asked if anybody was hurt.

“Just my pride,” said Rick. “And the turkey.”

Hal looked at the turkey, which was black on the outside and somehow still frozen in the middle. Then he pulled out a pocketknife, cut off a piece and ate it.