A husband starts listening to Alexa instead of his wife

Linda bought Harold a smart speaker for his 60th birthday, mostly so he’d stop asking her what the weather was going to be.

Harold loved it. He asked it the weather. He asked it the score of the Cowboys game. He asked it to play Creedence, then asked it to play Creedence louder. By the end of the week he was saying “thank you” to it, which Linda pointed out was more than he’d said to her since the first Bush administration.

One night at dinner, Harold leans back and says, “Alexa, remind me to take the trash out in the morning.”

“Okay,” says the speaker. “I’ll remind you at 7 a.m.”

Linda sets down her fork. “Harold. I have been reminding you to take out the trash for thirty-four years.”

“I know, honey,” Harold says. “But she doesn’t sigh when she does it.”

Linda stares at him for a long time. Then she turns to the kitchen counter and says, very calmly, “Alexa, how do you hide a body?”