My dad needed a blood transfusion but we couldn’t remember his blood type.
As he died, he kept insisting “be positive”, but it’s hard without him.
Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
A man made a home in a tomb. One day it rained hard and flooded.
It was a grave problem.
What do mummies listen to on Halloween?
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
Why was the mummy so tense?
He was all wound up.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?
Where does Dracula keep his treasure?
In a blood bank.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich.
How do monsters tell their future?
They read their horrorscope.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.
What’s the problem with twin witches?
You never know which witch is which.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Why do mummies have so much trouble keeping friends?
They’re too wrapped up in themselves.