Santa Claus is a woman because:
The vast majorities of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve and only go for a last-minute shopping spree.
A man would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Men can’t pack a bag.
Men would rather be dead than be caught wearing red velvet.
Men would feel their masculinity is threatened…having to be seen with all those elves.
Men don’t answer their mail.
Men aren’t interested in stockings unless somebody’s wearing them.
Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.