One day the king had to go for a year-long expedition.
The King knew his gorgeous Queen was going to be unfaithful with everyone through the court and county, so he turned to his court magistrate for help.
The court magistrate showed the King a pair of metal panties, with a hole in the middle.
“Why, doesn’t that just defeat the whole purpose?” asked the King.
The magistrate promptly picked a pencil off his desk and inserted it into the hole. “SNAP!”, the pencil had been cleanly sliced into two!
“Anything that enters the hole will be sliced off, Sire”, said the magistrate.
Thoroughly impressed, the King instructed the Queen to wear it for the entire year and left for his expedition.
Upon his return, the King called for a meeting of all his court and county folk.
They were all instructed to drop their pants, and the King made his rounds noticing that many were missing fingers as well as their most vital part.
Then, he saw the quiet knight Sir Xavier, fingers and all still intact.
“Xavier, the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!”
Sir Xavier responds,
“Thanth you, Thire. Thaths thso thind of you your Majethtay”