FUNNIEST JOKE I met a one-legged lady at the bar…

I met a one-legged lady at the bar. Out of curiosity, I asked her how she lost her leg.

"Well," she said, "it's due to me being a great negotiator."

"Do tell," I replied.

"You see," she began, "I had a business trip down to Brazil, and I was able to get a private pilot to fly me for a quarter of the cost of a commercial airline. Unfortunately, the plane malfunctioned, and we crash-landed in the Amazon."

"Ah," I said, "so you cheaped out and lost your leg in the crash."

"No, no," she corrected, "we were both perfectly fine. However, we landed in a territorial tribe's land. They were going to kill us, but with my amazing negotiation skills, we got out alive."

"You convinced them to only take a leg?" I asked, incredulous.

"What? No!" she exclaimed. "They let us go in exchange for a bag of chips I had on me. They even escorted us out of the jungle and pointed us in the direction of the nearest city. Unfortunately, during the trek to civilization, I got a severe infection in my foot."

"Ah," I nodded, "so you lost your leg to an infection."

"Goodness, no!" she said with a smile. "I had some antibiotics on me, so I was able to keep it well enough until we reached the city. I wasn't able to make a full recovery, though, and had to return to the US immediately for medical attention. Fortunately, they were able to help me, and I am now healthier than ever!"

I frowned. "That doesn't explain anything! Why is your leg gone then?"

"Well," she said with a grin, "the medical bill was going to cost me an arm and a leg, but I managed to negotiate it down to just the leg."