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An old lady is speeding down a highway

    An old lady is speeding down a highway, when she spots a police officer with a speed gun.


    The officer signals for her to pull over, and then walks over and asks her with a smile:


    “What’s the rush?”


    “I’m late for work.”


    “Sure,” says the officer, “What do you do?”


    “I’m a rectal distender.”


    “A what? A rectal distender? And what is that, exactly?”


    “Well, you see, I start by putting a finger in, then another, then I work up to three fingers, four fingers, until the whole hand is in.  I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then slowly but surely I extend the rectum, until it’s about 6 feet wide.”


    “And what the hell do you do with a 6 feet asshole?”


    “Give him a speed gun and put him by the side of the road.”

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