🤣 𝗔𝗗𝗨𝗟𝗧 𝗙𝗨𝗡𝗡𝗬 𝗝𝗢𝗞𝗘 👉 A nervous young priest is preparing for his first sermon. 😰🙏👍 𝙅𝙤𝙠𝙚 𝙊𝙛 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘿𝙖𝙮
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⬇️ 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗝𝗢𝗞𝗘 ⬇️
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A nervous young priest is preparing for his first sermon. 😰🙏
He goes to the elder bishop for advice, who tells him, “Take a glass of vodka 🥃 up with you, and every time you start to feel nervous, take a sip. Everyone will just think it’s water 💧 and it’ll help calm you down.”
The young priest follows the wise elder’s advice and delivers a truly impassioned sermon. 🎤🔥
When he gets back to his office, he finds a note from the bishop with some tips for the future:
👉 Sip the vodka, don’t chug it. 😅
👉 There are 10 commandments, not 12. ✋✋
👉 There were 12 disciples, not 10. 🙏👥👥👥👥👥👥👥👥👥👥👥👥
👉 The standard prayer before a meal is not ‘Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, YAY GOD.’ 🍽️🎉🙏
👉 We do not refer to the Lord Jesus Christ as the ‘late great JC’. ✝️💬
👉 We do not refer to the holy Trinity as Daddy, Jr, and Spook. 🕊️👶👴
👉 When Balaam was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say ‘he was stoned off his ass’. 🐴😵💥
👉 David slew Goliath, not beat the ever-loving 💩 out of him. 🗡️💪
👉 Jesus said, “Take, Eat, this is my body,” not “Eat me.” 🍞😇
👉 “Finally, there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s next week. Not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.” 🍬😆
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