Mrs O’Malley, who lived in a seaside town, was continually annoyed by the seagulls that would roost on her roof and leave their smelly droppings on her rose bushes.
One day, seeing a flock of them through her front window, she charged out of her front door waving her broom wildly and yelling, “Feck off, ya bastards!”
Unfortunately, Father Flanagan happened to be walking past at the time.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Father,” she said. “I didn’t see you there.”
“Ah, Mrs O’Malley,” said the priest, “you needn’t be so cross with God’s poor creatures. They are only doing what comes naturally to them. Just speak to them gently, like this:
‘Shoo! Shoo!’ and the bastards will feck off just the same.”
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