Satire: The economy is so bad that this happened

THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD THAT…

 

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

 

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

 

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

 

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

 

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

 

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

 

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

 

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

 

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

 

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

 

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

 

And, finally…

 

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline.  I got a call center in Afghanistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!