The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and senior enlisted men.
It was decided to offer some of them an early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer or senior enlisted man who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points of his body. Those applying got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Sergeant Major. When asked where he would like to be measured, he replied, “From the tip of my penis to my the back of my balls.”
The pension man asked if he wanted to reconsider his choice, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Marine insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Sergeant Major to drop ’em, which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the penis and began to work back. “Dear Lord!” he suddenly exclaimed. “Where are your testicles?”
The old Sergeant Major calmly replied, “Vietnam.”