Two Funny Marriage Jokes to Make You LOL

A man and his wife are at a high school reunion…

… and the husband keeps staring at a gorgeous, drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table, glass after glass. 🍸👀

His wife turns to him and asks, “Do you know her?” 🤔

“Yes,” sighs the husband. 😔

“She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.” 🥴

“My God!” says the wife. 😲

“Who would think a person could go on celebrating for that long?” 🎉😆

A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night. 😔💔

He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight. 🍺😠

He took it outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one onto the wall. 🧱💥

He smashed the first bottle, swearing, “You are the reason I fight with my wife.” 😡🍾

He smashed the second bottle, “You are the reason I don’t love my children.” 😤🍾

He smashed the third bottle, “You are the reason I don’t have a decent job.” 😠🍾

When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and full. 😳🍺

He hesitated for only a moment and said, “You stand aside, I know you were not involved.” 😅🍻