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A man in Canada wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.
So he looks on Google, and sure enough, there’s an ad for “Canada Bear Removers.”
He calls the number listed and the man says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives and gets out of his truck.
He’s got a ladder, a hockey stick, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull.
“What are you going to do?” the homeowner asks.
The man replies,
“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and I’ll knock the bear off the roof with this hockey stick.”
“When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to maul his testicles and not let go.”
“The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage on the back of the truck.”
He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
“So, what’s the shotgun for?” asks the perplexed homeowner.
“Well,…” said the man,
“If the bear knocks ME off the roof,”…
— “Shoot the dog.”
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