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A Bunch Of Scaringly Bad Halloween One Liner Jokes

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    Yep, we know these Halloween Jokes are bad (and silly!), but that what makes them good!Β  πŸ™‚


    Q. In what room of the house would you never find a ghost?
    A. The living room.


    Q. What do Skeletons say before eating?
    A. Bone Appetite.


    Q. Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
    A. To improve his bite!


    Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a dwarf?
    A. A monster that sucks blood out of kneecaps!!!


    Q. What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common?
    A. Both have blank expressions and are hollow inside.


    Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
    A. Frostbite…


    Q. Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
    A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy…


    Q. How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
    A. With scare spray…


    Q. What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
    A. A fur coat that fangs around your neck…


    Q. Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
    A. No, they eat the fingers separately…


    Q. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
    A. Dayscare Centers.


    Q. What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
    A. Booberries…


    Q. What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
    A. Casketball…


    Q. What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called?
    A. Shrinkenstein…


    Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
    A. “Do you believe in people?”


    Q.Why did the Vampire get fired from the Blood Bank?
    A. He was caught drinking on the job.


    Q. What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom?
    A. She flies off the handle.


    Q. Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating?
    A. Women can see right through them.


    Q. Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
    A. They’re so wrapped up in themselves…


    Q. What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
    A. Dead ends…


    Q. What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
    A. Fasten your sheet belts…


    Q. What is a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation?
    A. A blood vessel…


    Q. What is a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation?
    A. A scareplane…


    Q. What type of dog do vampire’s like the best?
    A. Bloodhounds…




    Q. What’s a ghoul’s favorite game?
    A. Hide-And-Go-Shriek!


    Q. How does a ghost celebrate New Year’s Eve?
    A. He paints the town dead!


    Q.Why aren’t there any famous skeletons?
    A. They’re a bunch of no bodies.


    Q. What is in the red blood cells of monsters?
    A. Hemogoblin !!!


    A. What do you use to repair a Jack O’ Lantern?
    A. A pumpkin patch.


    Q. What kind of music do Mummies listen to?
    A. Wrap


    Q. Do witches stay home on weekends?
    A. No. They go away for a spell.


    Q. What do you call a monster that has been locked in a freezer all night?
    A. A cool ghoul!


    Q. What do you call a guy turned on by a witch?
    A. Scared stiff.


    Q. Why didn’t Dracula get married?
    A. He never met a nice Ghoul!


    Q. How do you help chickens that are possessed by evil spirits?
    A. Get an “eggsorcist”!


    Q. How can you tell that Doctor Frankenstein had a good sense of humor?
    A. Because he kept his monster in stitches.


    Q. What do you get when you take the circumference of your jack-o-lantern and divide it by its diameter?
    A. Pumpkin Pi


    Q. What are a vampire’s favourite snacks?
    A. Adam’s apples and nectarines.


    Q. What is a zombie’s favourite dessert?
    A. Ladyfingers.


    Q. What do ghosts enjoy for lunch?
    A. Boologna sandwiches, peanutbooter cookies & a salad with boocheese dressing.


    Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
    A: A Bloodhound!


    Q: Where did they put Dracula when he was arrested?
    A: In a red bloodcell!


    Q: What is Dracula’s favorite holiday?
    A: Fangsgiving!


    Q: What do you give a vampire with a cold?
    A: Coffin Drops!


    Q: Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?
    A: They would only let him be BAT boy!


    Q: Why don’t witches wear panties?
    A: So that they can get a good grip on the broom…


    Q: Why do ghosts write in Latin?
    A: It’s a dead language.


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